Top five reasons why Pittsburgh isn’t like where you live:

5. A guy was standing behind the guard rail on a very busy thoroughfare, waist high in weeds. At first I mistook him for a panhandler or a drifter, but upon further inspection noticed the sign right above him: BUS STOP.

4. Myspace bulletin from a high school friend with news that she is expecting was titled BABY ON BOARED.

3. I got a ticket for not moving my car for the bi-monthly street cleaning on my street. My heart sank, as my finances could die from exhaustion at any moment. Until I saw the ticket: $5.00.

2. I was unironically asked, “Haah you hannle all them traffic livin dahntahn?”  I live about six miles from the four-square-block area that is downtown Pittsburgh.

1. Office Boss #1 was joking with a client about said client having hit a deer with his new SUV. “Looks like you’ll have to get a minivan,” OB#1 jokes. “Doc, I ain’t a fag,” replied the patient, to thunderous laughter.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 at 14:23:28 and is filed under Seen and Heard. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.