Like any worthy adult film, we here at Bait’n'Switch decided that three cocks in the kitchen was just not enough… so we have added a fourth. That’s right: we can now bring you double-double action in your ear and your rear.

He is no stranger to the fatmans clan, part of the original FatMans Triumverate, tapping lasses’ asses worldwide to bring you a fresh global perspective in this election year. (Not to mention, with his name on the books B’n'S can claim a part minority ownership — helpful come tax time!)

Quoth the venerable ODB, let me walk on over with my crystal, bitches, niggaz put away your pistols, and welcome billyphuz to the ranks.

Overheard in a restaurant:

Woman: why do you do that?

Man: do what?

Woman: serve other people first. Why do you do that? Is that something your parents taught you?

Man: ..erm, yes…

Woman: Hm. My parents never taught me that.

A little advice for you, my friend:

no poon is worth that much.

Contrary to popular belief, she will not improve after the wedding.

We, the merry Bait’n'Switch crew, are strong supporters of literacy. For example, if you’re reading this site, there’s a pretty good chance you’re literate. (We realize this unfairly excludes many politicians and native Bostonians, but, well…)

Why not add these golden titles to your short list?

Blame It on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart (Dawson)

Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart (Dawson)

Who Shat That?: A Pocket Guide to Poop Identity (Pagett)

In the spirit of those Budweiser “Real American Heros” adverts, let’s salut today’s wanker:

Picture it: Big city. Business district. Post-work rush hour.

A few minutes into his ride, a passenger walks to the front of the bus to berate the driver. “Are you having mechanical problems?! -or is there some reason we aren’t moving??”

(Note: being on this bus myself, and close to the legal definition of sober, your humble writer confirmed that the vehicle was indeed in motion.)

Captain Asshat returned to his seat and proceed to grumble, tap his foot, stare at his watch, and make short, pissy phonecalls the rest of the ride. More proof that a suit and tie bring class to the look, but not necessarily the wearer.

So, Mister Too Cheap To Take A Taxi, we salute you!