We’re almost at a red light. Go ahead and pull it out.

I don’t know if I need lotion yet… I’ll see if it fits.

I see they shop here…

I dunno… everything I know to do in San Diego involves animals…

I had a new experience yesterday that definitely gets the big bow wow.

After my shower, I went to pick out some clothes for the day. I was initially disappointed to find that I had no clean boxers.

Well, I had to free ball it with my Nike basketball shorts.

I recommend that every nigga out there give this a try. Your nuts will thank you. Mine did.

Conversation overheard in a grocery store:

“I always let you pick the toilet paper!”

“what sort of TP would you want?”

“as long as it gets the job done!”

By the way, kids, I’d advise against this attitude. You can skimp on a lot of things in life; but when it comes down to the bare necessities — toilet paper, condoms, 40-ouncers — go for the good stuff. I’ve met people who haven’t used proper TP, and they were quite grouchy.

overheard:

Well, if it requires a lot of screwing, it’ll wait wait a day

Perhaps in refernce to tax day being on 17 April this year?

overheard, in front of a bar:

“well, I don’t know whose piss it is, but you’re standing in it”