Overheard:

I had to turn around so you could get a photo of it. How could you forget?!

Erm…

Overheard:

No, I don’t think you’re getting any bigger than that

Stated by a lay-dee.

This train is for… Cockfosters.

college degrees based on experience — this place would issue a lot of degrees in wanking and time-wasting

Tired of making a Salary — no, just tired of earning one. There’s quite a difference.

Extra power. Don’t think. Just act. — This one clearly had an effect on our current administration.

Never be intimidated by sex again! — As in, having sex? Never. Getting? Perhaps…

Play palmOne’s Reward Yourself Game — This one’s in a category all its own. palms… self-rewarding… this can go nowhere good.

(OK, that last one’s not really spam, per se; but as it was caught in my spam trap, I have carte blanche to use it here.)

Terms actually overheard at an actual meeting about actual new HR/management practices of some sort:

creative correction — a whole new way of saying, “You’re fired.”
converge with rigor — I thought that sort of thing was usually frowned upon in the office
breakthrough to excellence — if it’s all the same, could I just knock on the door of mediocrity?
people behaviors — can anything other than a person actually “behave?”
mobilize energies — I usually do that shortly after lunch; right now, in fact
drones for development — that’s all we are here, after all… well, without the “development” part

More spam:

The average penis size of hillbillies

I don’t like where this is going. Hillbilly Porn? Appalachian Ass Action? There are so few places this could lead… none of which are good.

I got it out and played with it a little for the first time the other night… my friend’s guitar, that is. Yes, armed with a Christmas gift from my laydee, Guitar for Dummies (but not with an amp for an electric guitar–thankfully, in retrospect), I’ve spent the last few nights trying to play chords and get the damn thing into tune. My biggest problem is that it hurts like hell for me to fret with the virgin fingers on my left hand. Still, I think I’ve got the G chord down. I just can’t play anything that required an actual change of chords during the song.