EN: My anus reeks
FR: Mes mauvaises odeurs d’anus
NL: Mijn anus reeks
SP: Mis olores del anus
RS: мои reeks anus

Just got this in da mail (e-mail, that is). Who the fuck??? As a FatMans, I wholeheartedly disapprove of this message. Number 10 is not possible to due to 1-9.

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The following message is from The Wellness Program:

Over the past 20 years, portion sizes in the American diet have become “super-sized”. We are now consuming an additional 100 calories in snack foods and beverages which equal an additional 15 pounds of weight gained every year. To avoid overeating this Thanksgiving holiday, here are a few sensible dining tips:

1. Exercise before the meal. Increased physical activity for 30 to 60 minutes prior to the meal helps suppress the appetite and increases the body’s metabolism to burn calories more efficiently.
2. Do not starve yourself before the holiday meal. Eating a sensible breakfast and/or lunch will help you control your dinner intake.
3. Drink 2 to 3 glasses of water before the meal to help decrease your stomach capacity.
4. Survey the assortment of foods available and select small portions of your favorite foods.
5. Shrink your portion sizes by selecting a smaller plate.
6. Do not overload your plate. Remember you can enjoy the leftovers the next day.
7. Select more fresh fruits and vegetables as part of the holiday meal.
8. Avoid eating meals while watching television (sorry sport fans).
9. Plan activities such as group board games that do not focus on food.
10. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

What name! What a man!

Say it with me… Van Persie!

Could I be any more bored than I am right now? It’s 5:30 pm on Tuesday. It’s dark and damp outside. I’m translating a press release from French to English and rewriting it. I’ve surfed every worthwhile Web site known to man that isn’t blocked by my company’s Net Nanny (and that’s not many). I’ve used all my spare change and therefore cannot make any more trips to the candy machine. This might just be the peak of boredom. After I finish typing this message, I’ll be even more bored than I am right now…

Just another dank, wank, 10C November Tuesday….

Hoping to avoid any and all ass goblins here today.

Trivial hirsute

I went to Stinko’s FedEx last night to drop off my laptop for repairs. The girl who processed the order had a little bit of chunk going on, not alot, just right, but also had a bare midriff type shirt exposing her stomach.

I couldn’t help but noticing what I thought to be a chain from her navel extending downward. Upon closer look, I noticed that it was in fact a pelt! The proverbial (well, no longer) pubes from knees to navel. Argh!!!!

For those of you scoring at home, the Cocks (yes, that really is the name of my new rugby team) swept to a decisive victory this weekend vs. a team comprised of guys who live in Paris but hail from the Catalan city and rugby hotbed of Perpignan. I played the second half and managed not to do anything stupid or screw anything up. I even made a tackle or two and got stuck into a couple of rucks. I consider that a fantastic outing. Next match: next Saturday morning vs. some other bunch of French guys. I’ll keep you all posted.