Behold this gem from my inbox:
Subject: Bend her over like Beckham
Is that a tribute to his virility?
-or are they saying that Spice Girls bend over easily?
Boggles the mind.
Archive: "Spam"
Monday, April 28th, 2008
Thursday, April 24th, 2008
From: Christ
Subject: Great popping cleavage
Yes, tits from heaven. -but aren’t they all?
Monday, April 7th, 2008
I just received a message from someone named “Chastity,” of the subject:
“Put an end to your love failures.”
Point taken. If anyone comes looking for me, I’ll be in the monastery…
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
More mail from the spam bag, kids!
Watch her climax over and over again
If I’m watching then there’s a good chance I’m not involved. No.
The chronicles of my pussy conquest
Hm. Short read for most lads!
Go where no man has ventured
The “lady things” aisle at the supermarket?
Saturday, February 9th, 2008
Message received today:
You will be the Legend of the 10inch manhood…
Yes …
“Kids, gather ’round, lemme tell you ’bout the time I lopped off half my knob… brought me all the way down to ten inches… Rumour has it, the damned Germans took the other half and they’re trying to clone it… so they can make tanks.”
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
The spam had been rather limp as of late… until today:
Subject: Your most magnificent toy ever, unleashed amongst women with a vengeance.
Feeling less than ordinary? We’ll make you extraordinary…
Unleashed “amongst?” Unleashed on, I can see that, but amongst? That makes it sound like my new WonderKnob will go off and do all the hard work for me! I can please the laydee and still get some real work done.
Hmmm… What was that URL, again?
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
Intersting spam seems to be the taste of this holiday season.
Take your Award - Mr. Smallest thing 2006 :))
It only gets better from there:
I
don’t care why your prick is so small, but 83% of women do.
That number is suspect. I think it’s G-Dub’s disapproval rating. Where is your survey data, please?
They are pretty sure that bigger schlong will make their desire stronger.
Really? Time to put that to the test. Grab your preferred laydee and pose a brief opinion pole — er, poll:
Honey, I know you’re not at all in the mood… but what if I were suddenly sporting a giant redwood? You know, something I could use to knock out a couple of walls? Do you think your reaction would be:
A: “Yes! Please remove my sweatpants and all-covering undies — I want all of that, and I want it now!”
B: “erm, I don’t have room for that”
C: “move, it’s blocking the TV and I’m watching my Lifetime Movie of the Week!”
Let us know. We’ll post survey results … one of these days.
