Ever seen those money markers? You know, the ones cashiers use to test whether you’re passing bollox bills as legal tender?

This morning, cashier-chick ran one across … my twenty.

You heard that right: she checked a Jackson.

A yuppie Food Stamp.

The smallest denomination that spews from an ATM.

On an $11 purchase.

Such investigative talent is wasted in retail! She should join the hunt for Osama.

One nagging question: What if I had paid with three fivers instead? Hmm…

I don’t know whether to file this under Seen and Heard… or to create a whole new category named Nigga Please. *

Check it:

bank manager: (working with teller) Hmm… Yeh, all of our systems are really slow right now.

me: (having already handed over a not-too-small check** for deposit) Okay …

bank manager: You could leave the check with us, and we’ll deposit it after our systems come back .

me: Erm … I’ll just … wait here. Thanks.

(* For those uncultured twats who don’t get the reference, get some ODB for that azz.)

(** money from pimping, plus my welfare check)

UPDATE: I have created a new Nigga Please! category. This is its first post …