That's right, kids! 251 days and 18 hours till the USA goes bush-free!
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If only humans would apply ‘truth in labeling…

Seen in Paris by one of our many FatMans in the Street:

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Maxi Best Of

You might not like the French for whatever reason, but you’ve got to hand it to them for getting this right (just like they were about Iraq):

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Now, I’d have called the Rock a douche, but, hey, something sounding like maxi-pad works fine for me.

Gimme an extra-large, hold the anchovies

sausage factory sign

Instead of cheesecake, they offer these strange lollipops as dessert …

Specialist for your below-the-belt bling

poon jewelry

Rings: not just for fingers anymore!

I suppose this is where one gets a diamond hoo-ha?

(-and if you don’t already own the latest Supergrass, you’d better get your ass to … Europe, cos finding it stateside will be a bitch.)

eez Spaneesh for “nonchalantly eating cat turds”

Seriously….what’s happening here? Is this woman puking up Spaghetti-O meatballs? Being assailed by miniature asteroids? That, plus the use of the word "savory" to describe this product makes me want to…

The Whitening Power of Barf

them foreigners just don’t do a goddamn lick of research, do they? If only I had a picture of a sign I saw every day in Italy, proclaiming the worth of an anti-aging cream: "TOP MODEL? NO, BIOSCALIN RETARD!"

…but will you tow?

bitchy no-parking sign

Getting a parking spot is pretty tough around here. I’ll take the risk.

Products to Leave Off Your Grocery List

All from the supermarket down the street here in suburban Boston:

tsunami

Generally, I prefer the artificial kind…but it’s hard to believe that this little packet could have wiped out 250,000 people. There should really be a warning label or something…

good friends

Yes, that’s right; it contains “twigs.” As well as some of your good friends, if we’re to believe the name

bizzy

Well, now, who among us lads doesn’t like to have bizzy balls? I’m not sure about giving them to the cat to play with, though. When I said that I wanted some “pussy” for my bizzy balls, I wasn’t thinking quite that literally…